Bad sleep

[Freedomm]

I'm constantly sleepy, but at the same time, I don't sleep well. Even when I get very tired and sleep at night, I often wake up thinking about death. I even have dreams in which I was able to do it. I wake up exhausted and upset as usual. Waiting for a plan is very exhausting.

Sleeping is my favorite part of life, but I don't want to wake up like that. I remember getting an overdose of allergy medicine. In my dream, my breathing stopped and I woke up abruptly, inhaling through my mouth and nose, not even realizing what was happening. It was so close to death. But my brain stem woke up and decided to torture me further.

It's a very strange feeling to wake up at night many times with thoughts of death. They haunt me, day and night. No matter what I do, I want to die.

 

[fedup1982]

I'm sorry you're going through that. Have you told a mental health professional about this? I'm sure there is something they could do to help??

 

[Freedomm]

I'm sorry you're going through that. Have you told a mental health professional about this? I'm sure there is something they could do to help??

If I tell a psychiatrist what I think, they'll take me to a mental hospital right away. I wouldn't want to contact them, I know it's useless. Death and peace attract me more.

 

[fedup1982]

If I tell a psychiatrist what I think, they'll take me to a mental hospital right away. I wouldn't want to contact them, I know it's useless. Death and peace attract me more.

I completely understand. Totally. I never want to go to another psychiatric hospital ever again, my last stay was long and unbearable. I've been 7 times, some were nice stays actually but my last one was just... Awful. But I've learned from all of them what gets a person and what doesn't. Because they cost a LOT of money, and it's an assault on a person's freedom, they dont like admitting people unless it's essential for their safety.

They WILL admit someone if they think that person is in imminent danger of hurting themselves or others.

They WILL NOT admit someone for having suicidal thoughts, even if it's intense, as long as they don't have plans to act on them.

So as long as you don't have plans to act on your suicidal thoughts, they won't admit you unless you decide to go in voluntarily

And they may not even offer you a voluntary place because it would cost them about £500 PER NIGHT!

Why do you think talking to a health professional would be useless? Cos I disagree strongly. There's a LOt that they could do to try and help :) wouldn't you feel better if you didn't have these nightmares??

 

[Freedomm]

All they can do is either drug you or isolate you from the world. This can't fix the situation in any way, most likely they would have told me that I was a hopeless case.

I don't consider my dreams to be nightmares, they just constantly haunt me and I constantly struggle between my brain and consciousness, with my instinct of self-preservation. I love death and would like to die, but these thoughts are exhausting at the same time, especially when your plan is not yet fully prepared.

I have complete anhedonia, so there's nothing keeping me here, and pills from psychologists would hardly be able to change my mind, even sex doesn't interest me and doesn't bring me pleasure.

 

[Nightfoot]

That sounds like a very difficult situation. Sleep is so important and can be a refuge, so for it to be a source of additional stress is awful. A therapist shouldn't have you admitted to hospital just for suicidal thoughts. Maybe you could just say you have disturbing dreams and stay vague on the content if you're concerned about being hospitalized. I hope you find some relief.

 

[Eliska]

I have similar feelings. Cannot fall asleep, wake several times during night and then wake up early in the morning and thats that. And I am so tired through the day.