Discussion Are you angry at your parents for making you born?

[ceelobling]

Do you hold any resentment towards them for having you? Maybe "resentment" is too harsh of a word, but every time I think about it I'm like "man, fuck you guys. why'd you even have me?"

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

My father. My mother wanted an abortion and he forced her not to.

He used to brag about it to me when I was a kid, as if it would make me hate her. It made me hate him instead.

 

[usernamegoeshere]

no, the only reason im here is for my parents. if they weren't here id have ctb'd a long time ago. i always feel bad thinking about it though. apparently i'm the "miracle". i dont know if this is my thing to say but apparently my mother had a miscarriage before me. and it makes me feel guilty. why was i the one to make it? i never wanted this. but i dont want to hurt them.

 

[badatparties]

Resentment is the perfect word. Every time i read another news article about some guy killing his entire family, i feel validated in my antinatalist stance.

 

[_Gollum_]

Yes. My dad already had 6 kids and my mom had 2. They should've stopped there but they decided to tempt fate again, to roll the dice and gamble with another life. They lost the bet this time, and she turned out depressed and suicidal and anorexic and, simply put, lacking a will to live.

 

[Happy Cat]

Way too many bad parents out there and it doesn't help that this world is already overpopulated. I feel like not enough people care about this

 

[ghost-shock]

Yes 100% and to top it off married an abusive a*hole.

 

[violetforever]

yes and i resent them even more for it now being the same age they were when they had me. i can understand that they would never make good parents so why couldn't they? it's cruel and selfish to have children when you don't have the means and mental stability for it. my parents relationship was full of abuse and addiction too so you can imagine my childhood. i don't speak to my dad anymore by choice and i wish i didn't have to speak to my mom either. i think ours is the most wasteful attempt at a family. there's literally nothing to show for it.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

Absolutely. I resent both my mother and ex-father every single day for bringing me into this world.
My life is always full of misery and trauma with no support system at all.

 

[Dark Moon]

Somewhat, they probably wanted to continue the bloodline but I personally didn't want to be born and I don't think I have the genetic qualities to live a happy life.

 

[Spite]

A little bit. I love my mother so it's hard to be angry at her, but I absolutely hate my father and I think he wanted a child more than my mother did, so I'm definitely angry at him.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Moniker]

A little, yeah. I mostly dislike them for how they raised me.

 

[amor.dor]

My parents didn't take care of me; it was my aunt who raised me. So from the beginning, I resented them. I exist because my parents wanted to have sex, and I pay with my life for their irresponsibility—even though nowadays I'm an adult and don't need them anymore

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes. I don't think it was the right or even a fair choice. My Mum was diagnosed with a serious cancer at the same sort of time they realised she was pregnant. She in particular so wanted children and, they had been told it was a 'medical impossibility'.

I suppose I can understand she didn't want to then kill the thing she'd always wanted (with chemo.) But, I do wish she'd focussed on her own health. My Dad tries to reassure me, it still wouldn't have saved her but, I don't know. It feels like an effort to allay my survivor's guilt (type of feeling.)

Still, I'm not sure they really thought through how everyone's life would change if she died- which she did. I also don't really think they thought much about the genes they would pass on and how a child with them would fit into this world. Not that it was as bad back then I suppose.

Really though- I'm an anti-natilist at heart now. I tend to think any parent exposes their child to an unreasonable amount of risk- that literally can't be mitigated sometimes. A friend's child has suffered horribly with their health already. No matter if they are the best parent in the world- there's certain things we simply can't protect people from.

So, I have maybe the more extreme view that parents ars always to blame. No matter how good their intentions were or, how good their parenting was. The world itself isn't safe for a sentient being to be in.

 

[LonelyPrince]

Do you hold any resentment towards them for having you? Maybe "resentment" is too harsh of a word, but every time I think about it I'm like "man, fuck you guys. why'd you even have me?"

Yes.
I was only given birth to to satisfy my mother's fairy tale delusions and my father's need for control and dominance.

Fuck them both. fuck. them. both.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand and I personally find it so horrific how people would actually choose to impose something as torturous and dreadful as existence onto others causing all this terrible suffering as a result and existing in the first place is the true cause of all suffering, the fact that this existence was imposed truly is the most terrible tragedy.

To me existence itself will always be a mistake and I wish that more than anything I was never burdened with this existence as every second is torture to exist, to me procreation is something so terrible and dreadful, it feels criminal to me to force one into this torturous and futile existence of unnecessary suffering that there was never a need for at all where the option to peacefully cease existing is denied.

It truly is the most evil world where suicide is made into a crime with pro-lifers doing all they can to imprision others in this existence, there's so much horrific extreme cruelty in how even know this existence was imposed the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, to exist really is a terrible punishment that just causes harm and suffering, all that existence ever does is just torture existing beings with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, there's just so much evil in existing.

 

[Unlucky777]

Not only that but for also not teaching me stuff that other parents teach their kids. I always felt behind in life because they never bothered to teach me anything, I learned everything on my own.

 

[Abort!]

I do feel some resentment towards them for having me so irresponsibly and being so unprepared and unqualified to raise children... but I try not to take it too personally. I'm sure my consciousness had to inhabit some body regardless of the sperm which won. We're all just kinda dumb animals fucking mindlessly after all. Not to excuse them though. Should have known better.

 

[noname223]

I am more angry about the abuse I experienced as a child and teenager. What I had to go through. Procreating wasn't smart in their position. But this extreme domestic violence with no good reason. I am more angry about that.

 

[Ashu]

No, just terribly sorry for all of us that their two children ended up destroying their lives, when all my parents wanted was to give and receive love and happiness.

 

[Forveleth]

No. No one could predict what my life was going to be like before I was born. I therefore can not fault anyone who decided to birth me.

On the other hand, through therapy I found out they fucked me up pretty good so I do blame them for doing a shitty job raising me.

 

[badatparties]

Resentment is the perfect word. Every time i read another news article about some guy killing his entire family, i feel validated in my antinatalist stance.

I just want to clarify because my post may have come across the wrong way. I'm not saying i think resentful kids should kill their families or anything lol.

I'm saying when i see something horrible on the news like family annihilation, it furthers cements my viewpoint that we shouldn't bring life into a cruel world.

 

[Lost Impact]

My father. My mother wanted an abortion and he forced her not to.

He used to brag about it to me when I was a kid, as if it would make me hate her. It made me hate him instead.

this exactly. except my dad has never brought it up, ever. my mom was the one that told me about it.

 

[DarkJason]

I just wish my parents had the sense to use birth control or get an abortion. I can't help but resent them somewhat, especially since they passed their horrible genes down to me.

 

[panhandle5363]

Not really. The older I get, the more I realize people have no idea what they're doing.

 

[heydude56]

I don't blame them that much since it was basically customary(almost mandatory) to get married and have kids at the time so I don't think they really had much of a choice. But I do believe we don't necessarily owe our parents anything or need to thank them for our lives since we never had a choice in being born either.
I do love them tho since they've at least been pretty nice to me for most of my life

 

[AcrobaticSilky]

Do you hold any resentment towards them for having you? Maybe "resentment" is too harsh of a word, but every time I think about it I'm like "man, fuck you guys. why'd you even have me?"

Emotionally I hold infinite resentment towards them for bringing my consciousness into this body and world. Procreation on its own is the most egregious harm that can be committed towards a person as every subsequent harm exists as a result. Not to mention the nerve of my parents to have multiple children in poverty without college degrees or a support system and then gaslight the aforementioned children into thinking that asking for more was selfish and that being grateful for the bare minimum was the right thing to do. Everyday I have to go to work, it is not lost on me how I only have to do so because I was born into this plantation of a society by two idiots who felt empty inside and had sex.
I don't blame them though as I don't believe in free will and know from personal experience that they're too closed-minded and set in their delusions to truly grasp the harm they've had done to them and that they've perpetuated towards me and my siblings. I sometimes think about letting them know how much I don't appreciate being brought here against my will, but know that such a conversation would lead nowhere and only cause me more stress. It selfishly does bring me a little bit of satisfaction knowing that they won't be able to bank on me as their retirement plan after I CTB. But realistically, this burden is likely just going to shift to one of my siblings so ,like always, there's nothing to really be happy about. The wheel keeps turning.

 

[AngelTear]

Yeah since they really just had me for no reason. I'm the black sheep of the family and born 11 years after their first so obviously I wasn't planned. They don't give a fuck about me and only cared about me when I was a child/toddler. I often think I wish they had a miscarriage or abortion (but they don't believe in abortions bc religion) because they put me through so much stress.

 

[HawkTalon]

I'm resentful to those people for a whole lot of things, but being born isn't one of them. There are some experiences in life that I've had that have made it all worthwhile, but my parents had no hand in those things. My current circumstances are a hell created by me alone.