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DemonicAngel

DemonicAngel

Another brick in the wall.
Jan 21, 2021
78
Before I had my way out I remember thinking of all I need is a nice easy, peaceful way to CTB and I am gone...but I have found it's not that easy. First I got SN and I wasn't too sure I would be able to do it without being found in a few hours and then forced into a psych hospital. I hate those places, they make me more suicidal then I already am. I have been forced into them 6 times and I decided never again. I lie to my therapist when they ask about suicide but oh well. So I then acquired the coveted N from D in March or 2021. Everytime I get ready to check out of this horrible existence, SI kicks in full force and I cant do it. Does anyone have any advice or tips for dealing with SI? Please don't say drink or do drugs.
 
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Shadowlord900

Shadowlord900

Seeker of Darkness
Sep 29, 2022
918
You could try mixing it with your favourite drink (doesn't have to be alcoholic, just anything that you like the taste of to make it easier to drink), then leave it for a few hours before coming back to drink. Obviously since N is going to make your drink taste funny, you'll need to commit and drink the whole thing once you start. I imagine the more volume of your favourite drink you can mix it in and the longer you can leave it before drinking, the more easier it would be to overcome your SI until you start drinking it.

Now I'm no expert on N so I'd suggest seeking guidance from someone more knowledgeable about chemistry and/or biology in terms of how much volume of other liquid and what types of liquid you can mix it with, as well as how long you can leave the mixture off before it starts losing too much potency.

Another idea that doesn't have to resort to opening the N bottle until you're sure you've overcome your SI is to cover the label with a different label and try to pretend it's a different type of drink/liquid medication.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,738
Maybe some people manage to overcome the SI when they get desperate enough or they just know that it's the right time for them to leave this world. At least you have N, you are so incredibly fortunate and I envy you so much. I know that if I had it I would be gone from this world as soon as I possibly can, N literally sounds like the best ctb method.
 

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