Anyone have times where they feel motivated to recover only to realize there really isn’t much you can do to recover?

[Kramer]

I have a respiratory problem that if treated would allow me to meditate again which would help my ptsd, but not my ocd. My ocd is why I can't work. Fuck man!

 

[Lordsudbury]

Its like an endless cycle sometimes

 

[LonelyDude15]

I feel like even if I did, I'd just end up back here again. I'm honestly less depressed and more tired and out of options

 

[Kramer]

I feel like even if I did, I'd just end up back here again. I'm honestly less depressed and more tired and out of options

What options did you have?

 

[LonelyDude15]

I could theortically do therapy, go to the gym, go back to school and try to meet new friends but tbh I've already done all of this before too many times and it doesn't work. I have alot of good reasons why I think nothing will change and even if it could I'm out of patience. I mean their's no real difference between me dying now and me dying 70 years from now, so now seems good to me.

 

[Kramer]

I could theortically do therapy, go to the gym, go back to school and try to meet new friends but tbh I've already done all of this before too many times and it doesn't work. I have alot of good reasons why I think nothing will change and even if it could I'm out of patience. I mean their's no real difference between me dying now and me dying 70 years from now, so now seems good to me.

The difference between dying later is you'll probably feel worse. I couldn't imagine being old knowing there's absolutely no hope and just decades of regrets. Now there's hope or at least the illusion of it. Dying now would seem less painful overall (for me anyway).

 

[massiveblackhole]

I could theortically do therapy, go to the gym, go back to school and try to meet new friends but tbh I've already done all of this before too many times and it doesn't work. I have alot of good reasons why I think nothing will change and even if it could I'm out of patience. I mean their's no real difference between me dying now and me dying 70 years from now, so now seems good to me.

i totally hear what you're saying. iv done all of the above and sometimes i feel im on top of things but then i just end up in the same place again - depressed. losing the energy/will to keep on trying doing all that stuff again aimlessly.

The difference between dying later is you'll probably feel worse. I couldn't imagine being old knowing there's absolutely no hope and just decades of regrets. Now there's hope or at least the illusion of it. Dying now would seem less painful overall (for me anyway).

i totally get you. whats the point in doing the same shit and feeling miserable for the next 50 years when i could just use up my savings by doing all the fun things i want then when iv run out money/cool things to do ctb.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Yes. I face that every day and every night. I do what I can to put things in place for a better foundation if the chance does ever come around again for me to try and get the help I need.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Yeah. Every once in awhile my brain just totally shifts gears and I become optimistic and clearheaded. It's probably some form of "mania" but it's not at all malignant, if anything it feels like an "optimal self" peeking through the usual bs. So I get hyped up then realize that I've been isolating and distancing myself for so long I have nothing but familiar habits, or I just literally don't know what to do or where to put that energy. I still try new things but it never quite catches and the mentality is fragile.