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ecolofienjoyer

Member
Dec 31, 2025
40
I lost many friends. Most of them by telling them im suicidal. They would say not to and i would ask why. Then we would debate the topic. The same thing i would always press on is why live? Theres are no reasons to. Im going to die eventually so might aswell control my fate. They obviously couldnt answer bc there are none. Ig my brain is trying to justify my instincts keeping me around longer. Idk. Anyone else have a similar experience?
 
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thefarter

thefarter

i don’t smoke
Dec 10, 2025
97
this is interesting.
why do you feel like there are no reasons to live?
why not try to live 'hopefully' and instead let death take you whenever?
why does it need to be about 'controlling your fate'?
 
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ecolofienjoyer

Member
Dec 31, 2025
40
this is interesting.
why do you feel like there are no reasons to live?
why not try to live 'hopefully' and instead let death take you whenever?
why does it need to be about 'controlling your fate'?
because there are no reasons to live. The universe doesnt care if i love or die and i dont believe in an afterlife.
Ie rather be infontrol of my own ending than die in a random csr crash. I know what to expect.
 
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Captive_Mind515

Captive_Mind515

King or street sweeper, dance with grim reaper!
Jul 18, 2023
604
this is interesting.
why do you feel like there are no reasons to live?
why not try to live 'hopefully' and instead let death take you whenever?
why does it need to be about 'controlling your fate'?

There are no objective reasons to live. Hope is very often just a bunch of delusional ideas created by our mind to keep us trapped here. Why not control your own fate? Letting life do whatever it wants to you isn't exactly a foolproof plan for success or happiness.
 
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persepexa

persepexa

Specialist
Feb 7, 2025
360
No offence but it sounds like your friends cared about you and you pushed them away a little bit. Of course if the topic is suicide anyone is going to tell their friend not to do it and there is a lot to live for. Like if someone is suicidal their friends will try and support them but if you keep insisting you're going to do it eventually they're going to give up. I think it's understandable tbh. I wouldn't like if my friend insisted there was nothing to live for. To answer your question though I think the fact that life ends makes it precious. We're only here for a short time so we should make the most of it. Unfortunately I didn't, in fact I made the worst of it and would never even be on this site if I felt there was any other way. But I think it should only be considered in extreme circumstances.
 
Lamentice

Lamentice

Sayonara
Mar 27, 2023
107
People never have a good reason to oppose suicide, it always boils down to "Just because!" basically. "Because I don't understand!" "Because I don't want you to!" "Because I'm supposed to tell you not to!" "Because you're not supposed to want to die!" None of these are legitimate or challenging counters though.

Honorary mentions to "Because it's wrong!" "Because it's selfish!" which they then can't elaborate on meaningfully.

Most everyone (mental health "professionals" included) will attempt to emotionally or morally guilt trip you as oppose to being available for you and investing labor & support into you recovering (whatever that may entail). People don't care, don't understand, don't listen, and lack capacity most importantly (which is not me being empathetic, saying they lack capacity is a criticism).
 
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ecolofienjoyer

Member
Dec 31, 2025
40
this is interesting.
why do you feel like there are no reasons to live?
why not try to live 'hopefully' and instead let death take you whenever?
why does it need to be about 'controlling your fate'?
Lemme put it like this. Why live if im gonna die anyway?
No offence but it sounds like your friends cared about you and you pushed them away a little bit. Of course if the topic is suicide anyone is going to tell their friend not to do it and there is a lot to live for. Like if someone is suicidal their friends will try and support them but if you keep insisting you're going to do it eventually they're going to give up. I think it's understandable tbh. I wouldn't like if my friend insisted there was nothing to live for. To answer your question though I think the fact that life ends makes it precious. We're only here for a short time so we should make the most of it. Unfortunately I didn't, in fact I made the worst of it and would never even be on this site if I felt there was any other way. But I think it should only be considered in extreme circumstances.
Well there is nothing in my life to make the most of. just pain and eternal suffering. there is nothing i can do to stop it. and i know i pushed them away. im not exactly a good person.
 
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Captive_Mind515

Captive_Mind515

King or street sweeper, dance with grim reaper!
Jul 18, 2023
604
No offence but it sounds like your friends cared about you and you pushed them away a little bit. Of course if the topic is suicide anyone is going to tell their friend not to do it and there is a lot to live for. Like if someone is suicidal their friends will try and support them but if you keep insisting you're going to do it eventually they're going to give up. I think it's understandable tbh. I wouldn't like if my friend insisted there was nothing to live for. To answer your question though I think the fact that life ends makes it precious. We're only here for a short time so we should make the most of it. Unfortunately I didn't, in fact I made the worst of it and would never even be on this site if I felt there was any other way. But I think it should only be considered in extreme circumstances.

You're projecting your views onto everyone else's experience of this life. Saying ctb "should only be considered when…" That's a form of gate keeping. It's up to every individual to choose what their reasons or threshold is.

As regards not liking a friend expressing ctb thoughts. Fair enough I guess. But is it really about what you like or is it about respecting their right to choose and their right to feel that way?

And lots of people would not agree that life is precious just simply because it's finite. It's a bit of an arbitrary reason to assign value to something, especially when it very often contains copious amounts of suffering and misery.
 
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persepexa

persepexa

Specialist
Feb 7, 2025
360
You're projecting your views onto everyone else's experience of this life. Saying ctb "should only be considered when…" That's a form of gate keeping. It's up to every individual to choose what their reasons or threshold is.

As regards not liking a friend expressing ctb thoughts. Fair enough I guess. But is it really about what you like or is it about respecting their right to choose and their right to feel that way?

And lots of people would not agree that life is precious just simply because it's finite. It's a bit of an arbitrary reason to assign value to something, especially when it very often contains copious amounts of suffering and misery.
You're entitled to your opinion but I am not projecting anything. I am an opinion that's different to yours based on my own life experience. That's okay. Everyone views life differently.

I of course support the right to choose I am simply saying that if my friend was suicidal and despite all my best efforts they refused to listen to any other point of view than their own, what would be the point in continuing? It sounds like your friends were respecting your right in that they're not actively impeding you from doing anything but they also have the right to walk away. They have a right to choose not to help you in that course of action.

Life of course contains misery but it also contains profound beauty. You said what was the point of living if we die anyway and I believe that's exactly the point. To experience life while we can. Nothing is black and white. It would be wrong to say life is pure misery and not worth living as much as it would be wrong to say life is sunshine and rainbows and everyone should be happy all the time. The truth is life contains joy and sorrow. Some people find the balance tipped in the wrong direction and find themselves in a bad situation but that doesn't mean life is inherently meaningless. We give life meaning. We decide ourselves what we're hear for, what the point of being alive is.

I also want to say that while I support people's right to choose to an extent, we also need to recognise that suicide is a very extreme action and is upsetting to everyone involved. Nobody is happy to hear someone committed suicide in most cases. Obviously there are exceptions to this but I'm speaking in general terms. It is a very extreme decision and there is no coming back from it. It ends everything. Every possibility that exists in your life is gone. Everyone that you would have met or anything you would have done is gone.

I'm not saying this to discourage you I just think it's important to consider all points of view especially as you said you felt abandoned by your friends when really it sounds, from what you've said, that you may have pushed them away.

I don't mean any of this as a criticism or anything just trying to offer another perspective on things. My life personally is awful and I feel that I have no choice left but to CTB but I don't think life is awful at all in fact I wish I had lived more and lived better before I got to this point.
 
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ecolofienjoyer

Member
Dec 31, 2025
40
You're entitled to your opinion but I am not projecting anything. I am an opinion that's different to yours based on my own life experience. That's okay. Everyone views life differently.

I of course support the right to choose I am simply saying that if my friend was suicidal and despite all my best efforts they refused to listen to any other point of view than their own, what would be the point in continuing? It sounds like your friends were respecting your right in that they're not actively impeding you from doing anything but they also have the right to walk away. They have a right to choose not to help you in that course of action.

Life of course contains misery but it also contains profound beauty. You said what was the point of living if we die anyway and I believe that's exactly the point. To experience life while we can. Nothing is black and white. It would be wrong to say life is pure misery and not worth living as much as it would be wrong to say life is sunshine and rainbows and everyone should be happy all the time. The truth is life contains joy and sorrow. Some people find the balance tipped in the wrong direction and find themselves in a bad situation but that doesn't mean life is inherently meaningless. We give life meaning. We decide ourselves what we're hear for, what the point of being alive is.

I also want to say that while I support people's right to choose to an extent, we also need to recognise that suicide is a very extreme action and is upsetting to everyone involved. Nobody is happy to hear someone committed suicide in most cases. Obviously there are exceptions to this but I'm speaking in general terms. It is a very extreme decision and there is no coming back from it. It ends everything. Every possibility that exists in your life is gone. Everyone that you would have met or anything you would have done is gone.

I'm not saying this to discourage you I just think it's important to consider all points of view especially as you said you felt abandoned by your friends when really it sounds, from what you've said, that you may have pushed them away.

I don't mean any of this as a criticism or anything just trying to offer another perspective on things. My life personally is awful and I feel that I have no choice left but to CTB but I don't think life is awful at all in fact I wish I had lived more and lived better before I got to this point.
I get that. but the majority of my life will be suffering. i dont think theres a point to suffering just to arrive at the same outcome anyway. also i said i know I pushed them away. It was purely my fault. and honestly... im glad i did. i dont want them to suffer when i die. the more i push the less they do.
 
Captive_Mind515

Captive_Mind515

King or street sweeper, dance with grim reaper!
Jul 18, 2023
604
You're entitled to your opinion but I am not projecting anything. I am an opinion that's different to yours based on my own life experience. That's okay. Everyone views life differently.

I of course support the right to choose I am simply saying that if my friend was suicidal and despite all my best efforts they refused to listen to any other point of view than their own, what would be the point in continuing? It sounds like your friends were respecting your right in that they're not actively impeding you from doing anything but they also have the right to walk away. They have a right to choose not to help you in that course of action.

Life of course contains misery but it also contains profound beauty. You said what was the point of living if we die anyway and I believe that's exactly the point. To experience life while we can. Nothing is black and white. It would be wrong to say life is pure misery and not worth living as much as it would be wrong to say life is sunshine and rainbows and everyone should be happy all the time. The truth is life contains joy and sorrow. Some people find the balance tipped in the wrong direction and find themselves in a bad situation but that doesn't mean life is inherently meaningless. We give life meaning. We decide ourselves what we're hear for, what the point of being alive is.

I also want to say that while I support people's right to choose to an extent, we also need to recognise that suicide is a very extreme action and is upsetting to everyone involved. Nobody is happy to hear someone committed suicide in most cases. Obviously there are exceptions to this but I'm speaking in general terms. It is a very extreme decision and there is no coming back from it. It ends everything. Every possibility that exists in your life is gone. Everyone that you would have met or anything you would have done is gone.

I'm not saying this to discourage you I just think it's important to consider all points of view especially as you said you felt abandoned by your friends when really it sounds, from what you've said, that you may have pushed them away.

I don't mean any of this as a criticism or anything just trying to offer another perspective on things. My life personally is awful and I feel that I have no choice left but to CTB but I don't think life is awful at all in fact I wish I had lived more and lived better before I got to this point.

I think you might be replying to the wrong person here. I don't have any friends.
 
persepexa

persepexa

Specialist
Feb 7, 2025
360
I get that. but the majority of my life will be suffering. i dont think theres a point to suffering just to arrive at the same outcome anyway. also i said i know I pushed them away. It was purely my fault. and honestly... im glad i did. i dont want them to suffer when i die. the more i push the less they do.
I'm glad you can recognise that tbh. My life is suffering too tbh and I will suffer for the rest of my life due to my own actions. But I personally believe suffering is a choice. There are many people in our circumstances who live their lives despite whatever is going on, even in extreme circumstances. I just feel it's important that we recognise that life has wonderful things in it and we are actively making the choice to ignore or reject those. I'm really sorry for what you're going through and I wish you the best.
I think you might be replying to the wrong person here. I don't have any friends.
Oops! I thought you were OP sorry. I should have checked. My bad.
 
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Captive_Mind515

Captive_Mind515

King or street sweeper, dance with grim reaper!
Jul 18, 2023
604
I'm glad you can recognise that tbh. My life is suffering too tbh and I will suffer for the rest of my life due to my own actions. But I personally believe suffering is a choice. There are many people in our circumstances who live their lives despite whatever is going on, even in extreme circumstances. I just feel it's important that we recognise that life has wonderful things in it and we are actively making the choice to ignore or reject those. I'm really sorry for what you're going through and I wish you the best.

Oops! I thought you were OP sorry. I should have checked. My bad.

I only replied to your comment, because it felt like you were doing more than just expressing your own perspective or opinion. It read a bit like you were trying to suggest rules or criteria for other people.

If that's just your standards, that you live by, then I have no issue at all.

I personally don't think life is inherently good or beautiful, and I don't think most people are choosing to suffer either. I think suffering is a natural by product of the curse that comes with being a sentient feeling creature.

And I think suffering is the most important factor in life. It easily outweighs joy or happiness in terms of its significance and impact on individuals.

None of us needed to be here. We didn't need the good stuff anymore than we needed the bad stuff. And when we're gone, we will not be deprived of anything because it's impossible to suffer a deprivation if you don't exist to experience said deprivation.

I also do not think ctb should be viewed as an extreme action. It's only viewed as extreme, because we live in a society that has an irrational fear of being dead. (Death has never harmed anyone)

Personally, I think bringing another innocent victim into this mess is the truly extreme action. It's reckless and irresponsible and can create a lifetime of suffering for no reason at all.
 
persepexa

persepexa

Specialist
Feb 7, 2025
360
I only replied to your comment, because it felt like you were doing more than just expressing your own perspective or opinion. It read a bit like you were trying to suggest rules or criteria for other people.

If that's just your standards, that you live by, then I have no issue at all.

I personally don't think life is inherently good or beautiful, and I don't think most people are choosing to suffer either. I think suffering is a natural by product of the curse that comes with being a sentient feeling creature.

And I think suffering is the most important factor in life. It easily outweighs joy or happiness in terms of its significance and impact on individuals.

None of us needed to be here. We didn't need the good stuff anymore than we needed the bad stuff. And when we're gone, we will not be deprived of anything because it's impossible to suffer a deprivation if you don't exist to experience said deprivation.

I also do not think ctb should be viewed as an extreme action. It's only viewed as extreme, because we live in a society that has an irrational fear of being dead. (Death has never harmed anyone)

Personally, I think bringing another innocent victim into this mess is the truly extreme action. It's reckless and irresponsible and can create a lifetime of suffering for no reason at all.
I'm sorry but I disagree with all of that for reasons I've already stated in previous comments so I won't repeat here. I wish you well though and hope you find peace.
 
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Uncounted1846

Member
Jan 17, 2026
46
I lost two friends because they shared that they were pregnant with me and I asked why? I can't fathom, in this economy, bringing another human on board. Is it ego that propels breeders to procreate? Or is it something more innate? Dare I say animalistic?

I agree with you on controlling one's fate as you put it. I've lived almost 40 years. I feel pretty confident that in that time I've had a pretty good go at life. I've experienced a lot of things. And I've reached the point where my depression is telling me it's time to go. Why can't the state allow me a peaceful death with a Seconal rx? Because how would that look to the normies. Fuck the patriarchy. Fuck Donald Trump. And fuck this life.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
6,258
1619790613453.jpg
 
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