F
FadeToBlack1109
Member
- Jul 18, 2025
- 41
So, it's getting warmer, brighter, we just switched to summer time in my country and, well, I'm getting a lot worse. This has been the case for many years now, whenever summer is just around the corner.
I know many people suffer from seasonal depression, but usually it's the cold season that makes them depressed. And it makes sense.
But for me, it's the other way around. I feel comforted by snow and rain. And I feel so much worse when it's warm and the sun is out.
My theory is that it's because of my severe isolation. In the summer months, other people go outside with their friends and have fun and do stuff and I'm here all alone. I work from home as well. And I can order groceries to my doorstep. But if it's raining, the isolation doesn't feel as bad, because other people are staying inside as well, so I'm not the odd one out (or in, haha).
This is gonna sound extremely disrespectful, I hope people will understand that it's just my personal experience, but: I actually kinda enjoyed the first covid lockdown. That feeling of "I'm the only one that isn't taking part in this world" fully subsided, because literally everyone was isolated. And that's a horrible thing obviously, it's not like I want anyone else to suffer! But... it felt like millions of people could suddenly see the world through my eyes. Or more like, the bedroom ceiling.
Just like when it rains. It's normal to stay inside when it rains and thus I don't feel abnormal anymore.
But whenever summer begins, it's the opposite. People go out there and enjoy life and I can't. I have my reasons for staying inside all day, and it's somewhat voluntary, that's not what this post is about. I also don't feel jealous of other people, it's not like I yell at playing children or something. It's really just me hating my own life, not envying others for theirs.
I guess I just wanted to ask... does anyone else feel that way? Does anyone else feel like they have this extreme seasonal depression, but backwards?
I dread summer so, so much. My suicidal thoughts are somewhat under control at the moment, but I can just feel them knocking on my door whenever I open the window, see the blue sky and feel the warm summer breeze.
I don't know if I can take another summer. Anyone else feel this way?
I know many people suffer from seasonal depression, but usually it's the cold season that makes them depressed. And it makes sense.
But for me, it's the other way around. I feel comforted by snow and rain. And I feel so much worse when it's warm and the sun is out.
My theory is that it's because of my severe isolation. In the summer months, other people go outside with their friends and have fun and do stuff and I'm here all alone. I work from home as well. And I can order groceries to my doorstep. But if it's raining, the isolation doesn't feel as bad, because other people are staying inside as well, so I'm not the odd one out (or in, haha).
This is gonna sound extremely disrespectful, I hope people will understand that it's just my personal experience, but: I actually kinda enjoyed the first covid lockdown. That feeling of "I'm the only one that isn't taking part in this world" fully subsided, because literally everyone was isolated. And that's a horrible thing obviously, it's not like I want anyone else to suffer! But... it felt like millions of people could suddenly see the world through my eyes. Or more like, the bedroom ceiling.
Just like when it rains. It's normal to stay inside when it rains and thus I don't feel abnormal anymore.
But whenever summer begins, it's the opposite. People go out there and enjoy life and I can't. I have my reasons for staying inside all day, and it's somewhat voluntary, that's not what this post is about. I also don't feel jealous of other people, it's not like I yell at playing children or something. It's really just me hating my own life, not envying others for theirs.
I guess I just wanted to ask... does anyone else feel that way? Does anyone else feel like they have this extreme seasonal depression, but backwards?
I dread summer so, so much. My suicidal thoughts are somewhat under control at the moment, but I can just feel them knocking on my door whenever I open the window, see the blue sky and feel the warm summer breeze.
I don't know if I can take another summer. Anyone else feel this way?