Venting anyone else feel like their suicidality isn't "valid?"

[wolverine]

Occasionally when I come here I see people who have genuinely had it way harder than me. People grieving the loss of partners or family, people worn down by life and work, people with real and tangible problems. I almost feel like my social anxiety and dislike of my body are just child's play compared to other peoples reasons, even if everyone's reasons are generally valid (at least in my opinion.)

I'm sure this has been echoed here a million times but I really do wish there was a way to give someone ill my life. Here I am choosing death over normal life when there's someone out there desperately fighting to live another day.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I too have shared that sentiment before, but I always remember a piece of advice someone here gave me. They told me that no matter the reason you're here, your experience is just as valid as anyone else's.

I am currently navigating many of my own challenges, a breakup being the most prominent, and seeing others share their life struggles has often led me to question the true weight of my own. It might sound like a cliche, but your reasons are personal and significant to you, and that is all that matters.

Also I wanted to say I share that thought, and sometimes I wish I could give a terminally ill person my life, someone who wants to live more than I do.

 

[madwoman]

I also wish I could give my life to someone who really want to live and I will take their terminal illness from them.

I will say generally, there will be people who have it worse and who have it better than you (and me and everyone) - it doesn't make your pain any less valid. Someone with my circumstances may be able to go on and make it better or have the drive to survive, but I'm the one living my life and I don't wanna. Obv it's valid you feel this way anyway, we all have our good and bad things we deal with. We don't know what we are all going through inside.

 

[Gabbi_Station]

I often feel weird about whether I can accurately categorize my failed attempts as "attempts"- 1) I took a bunch of hydrocodone but told my sister after I started shaking 2) I planned to take SN out in the woods near my house but was stopped by a stranger who probably sensed something was wrong and wouldn't leave until I agreed to let him walk me home (it was a nice old man so I can't complain- he was objectively more worried about me then any of my family), 3) tried to passively drown in the bathtub after taking a bunch of Dramamine.

I often feel weird that my survival instincts kick in and I have trouble going through with CTB. I subconsciously doubt whether I am doing it to really die or for attention; at the time I just feel lifeless and I want to give up but something stops me. Doubt and fear of pain mostly. My family always guilts me during periods of idealation.

 

[Harrier]

Not really.

I almost jumped twice in the last two weeks.

Once from a height that may have killed me, and once from a height that would have crippled me.

The first I backed out of for reasons that had nothing to do with SI, but which were sufficient for me to not be impulsive.

To be general, I had a steady supply of alcohol, plenty of witnesses, and I would have been the story of the event I was at the next day, and couldn't do that to those people.

The next was a week later, and what stopped me was simple - it was way too short of a drop.

My immediate trigger to ctb then has subsided, butt the overarching reasons have not:

We are brought into this world outside of our will, the people in this world do not understand our pain, and the same people actively try to block our exit.
And the immediate trigger involves an indidividual, and it is not her fault.

I blame myself, but am slowly realizing that she and I may be victims of people who did not wish or cause her death or my guilt, but whose actions facilitated both.

I have taken steps to replace grief and guilt with anger. CTB is an option, but I am going to try to vindicate her life while I still breathe.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I can't say that I feel the same way as you, since I think EVERYONE who wants out of this stupid life has a valid reason for it. Life is a curse, pure and simple. It's a prison sentence that we all received at birth and I will eventually stage a jailbreak. I'm sorry that in your case, life caused you to suffer badly enough that you signed up on SASU, but I completely understand.

My only hope is that you don't hate yourself. So many people on this forum struggle with self hatred when there really is no reason for it. They call themselves failures or losers because they don't meet society's expectations, which is kinda stupid considering society itself is disgusting and relies entirely on the exploitation and slavery of others. In the past, I too struggled with self hatred, but realized that I was being too hard on myself so that problem went away. The hatred I have now is for the world and for the forced life sadists who constantly get in the way of peaceful euthanasia being legalized for people who want to die.

 

[SoLowHollow48]

Honestly, suicide is just a valid crash out taken to the extreme. Which is valid.

I do feel that it's not supposed to be an option entertained by people who are mentally ill. They should at least try and get help first. Get medicated for some years, try different habits, and shi.

Just because you're ill, doesn't mean death is key. If you're ill, find the cause, learn the symptoms and have a healthy relationship with your illness. Most people just want to get rid of it. I'd understand, just like having chronic pain; no one wants to live 24/7 like this chugging pills.

But some are still manageable and allow for you to live well. So, please do that before you stay on this site and start browsing for methods.

If things don't work out, here we are.

 

[jojobanana]

i feel the same way about my problems.

i've made genuine friends and my relationship with my family is on the mend. but im so certain i want to die. i just feel wrong. i've felt for a long time that im not supposed to be here.

reality is life could be better for all of us. if you think about how the world really is and how people treat each other it's more than a valid reason to want to ctb.

man have you seen the epstein files or what's happening in palestine? yup i think about these things a lot when i want to ctb. i can't help it. the world is so cruel and i want no parts.