Anyone else CTB soley because they will never have a girlfriend?

[unloveable27]

Life is meaningless and cold and tedious and having someone by your side is the only thing that makes it all worth it. Anyone else feel this way? Like if they had a significant other they wouldn't want to die at all?

 

[dirkw83]

Nah. I used to think that way but life has plenty to offer even if you don't have a girlfriend. Good sleep, nice food, nice things to see. The world really is a beautiful place, even if you're alone, and there's always a chance you'll meet someone if you just focus on doing things you wanna do. Not sure how old you are but chances are you're in your twenties. When you're in your thirties you really start to realize this. I do agree that life is meaningless but you can make existence painless and even enjoyable even if you're alone. Learn mindfulness, it's a great tool.

 

[Cyc]

As someone who's been in relationships before, no. If anything I feel worse for wanting to die

 

[Macedonian1987]

Having no girlfriend is one the MANY reasons why i will ctb. Chronic pain and poor health is the No.1 reason why i will ctb.

 

[DecayAndAsh]

It's not my only reason but it's definitely a contributing factor. Having a gf wouldn't fix everything but it could've at least made me feel better.

 

[darksouls]

my ex-boyfriends treated me like trash,
I gave up hope of having a loving partner a long time ago,
I am mentally and emotionally too broken for a romantic relationship,
that is why I stay alone until I die

 

[Apathy79]

Personally my life improved considerably since breaking up with my previous girlfriend. Night and day difference. I would say with near categoric certainty now that being single is preferable to having a bad girlfriend, for me anyway. I often wonder with questions like this if it is coming from a place of never having had a girlfriend and not knowing the downsides of it. Grass is always greener on the other side type thing. Or whether some people just have a harder time being alone and literally anyone is preferable to that?

 

[ih34rty0u]

not solely but i often feel like the fact that i've never been asked out/in a relationship makes all the other things in life meaningless and my achievements are worthless. im already 21 and it's just so embarrassing. it extremely feeds into my suicidal ideation.

two years ago i was on the verge of death due to anorexia because i took weight loss way too far. i tried to become lovable but it turns out i cannot do anything, it's never enough. im doomed.

 

[unloveable27]

Nah. I used to think that way but life has plenty to offer even if you don't have a girlfriend. Good sleep, nice food, nice things to see. The world really is a beautiful place, even if you're alone, and there's always a chance you'll meet someone if you just focus on doing things you wanna do. Not sure how old you are but chances are you're in your twenties. When you're in your thirties you really start to realize this. I do agree that life is meaningless but you can make existence painless and even enjoyable even if you're alone. Learn mindfulness, it's a great tool.

I don't sleep well or have an appetite because I'm depressed over being alone. I'm short and ugly and cant compete on the apps and every hobby group ive been to is other men. I'm CTB right before turning 28 in the summer. Dating in your thirties sounds even worse than in 20s. I'm not raising someone else's kid. I personally need someone else loving me to feel good but I think it's something required to really feel good for most people. Your outlook is probably healthier for survival though but I've already lost hope.
I used to have passion and create art but not nearly as much recently. I have to take drugs to want to draw or play music

Having no girlfriend is one the MANY reasons why i will ctb. Chronic pain and poor health is the No.1 reason why i will ctb.

I'm sorry you have the same experiences. Especially chronic pain, i had that for a couple years due to a botched surgery and it was hell.

Personally my life improved considerably since breaking up with my previous girlfriend. Night and day difference. I would say with near categoric certainty now that being single is preferable to having a bad girlfriend, for me anyway. I often wonder with questions like this if it is coming from a place of never having had a girlfriend and not knowing the downsides of it. Grass is always greener on the other side type thing. Or whether some people just have a harder time being alone and literally anyone is preferable to that?

I've already been in an online relationship where we met up in person once, but she fell in love with me in DMs before she saw my ugly face and short stature. It was a fluke of extraordinary luck that only happens once in a lifetime and is the only way I could have someone. My only relationship was dysfunctional in a lot of ways but was vastly preferable to being alone even at its worst. It would take extreme circumstances like cheating or abuse for me to break up with a partner now, knowing how hard it is for me to get one. I've never been hit on once in my life at almost 28.

If dating apps didn't exist everything would be easier because I wouldn't have to pay to be seen and compete with all the most attractive men in the city, for women talking to 10 people at once. I'm not blaming women, why wouldn't they pick the best of the best, but I'd rather the apps were banned because then me and a lot of other guys might have something resembling an actual chance

 

[cvury]

my ex-boyfriends treated me like trash,
I gave up hope of having a loving partner a long time ago,
I am mentally and emotionally too broken for a romantic relationship,
that is why I stay alone until I die

why did u choose to date them then

 

[K14~♡]

If they had a significant other they wouldn't want to die at all?

Having no partner isn't my reason for wanting to ctb, but having a partner has been my only strong enough reason to wanna live
Though I'm single rn and still consistently suicidal no matter what happens but- during my last relationship, it was my dream and goal to achieve a future with her together. I was motivated to work hard and endure hardship. Sadly she was the wrong person, and my unstable ass could not maintain any relationship

 

[charlavail]

my ex who i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with has completely ruined me, the breakup sent me to the mental hospital and im back SH. what i'm getting at is getting a partner isn't that great. i would say love (not just romantic but including) honestly all just leads to suffering and is what is tempting me to ctb. if anything, count yourself lucky you don't have an SO because being in love is a gamble and huge risk getting your heart broken. that's 10000x worse.

 

[sourcherry]

:/ i think you're placing your bets on happiness on something impossible. suddenly getting a gf isnt going to make everything better.
it sounds like you need validation from a empty slate who has no opinions of their own.

if you hate all of your own features how is someone else going to love them for you?

 

[GremlinCan56]

Personally my life improved considerably since breaking up with my previous girlfriend. Night and day difference. I would say with near categoric certainty now that being single is preferable to having a bad girlfriend, for me anyway. I often wonder with questions like this if it is coming from a place of never having had a girlfriend and not knowing the downsides of it. Grass is always greener on the other side type thing. Or whether some people just have a harder time being alone and literally anyone is preferable to that?

I guess having a romantic partner does seem like a great distraction from your issues and like, they'd just be there to "pick up the slack." Or help you carry your weight.

But this is also really important to know too.

 

[darksouls]

why did u choose to date them then

men choose me because I am weak and have no self-esteem

 

[unloveable27]

:/ i think you're placing your bets on happiness on something impossible. suddenly getting a gf isnt going to make everything better.
it sounds like you need validation from a empty slate who has no opinions of their own.

if you hate all of your own features how is someone else going to love them for you?

I hate my features because they repel women and I can't change them. There's no gym for face or height.
Where is it implied I want an empty slate? It seems like anytime a man complains about being lonely for reasons out of their control, people henpeck for some imaginary misogyny to divert attention back to women. Why is this? Why is it automatically assumed to be the man's fault, when statistics show women don't find most men in general attractive
And it wouldn't make my life perfect but it would be far far far better. I wouldn't want to die. I would be motivated in hobbies again. I would have someone to come home to at night and text on lunchbreaks

 

[herbiecide]

I hate my features because they repel women and I can't change them. There's no gym for face or height.
Where is it implied I want an empty slate? It seems like anytime a man complains about being lonely for reasons out of their control, people henpeck for some imaginary misogyny to divert attention back to women. Why is this? Why is it automatically assumed to be the man's fault, when statistics show women don't find most men in general attractive
And it wouldn't make my life perfect but it would be far far far better. I wouldn't want to die. I would be motivated in hobbies again. I would have someone to come home to at night and text on lunchbreaks

It's not *completely* imaginary but yeah, this kind of thing happens all the time. Men are not allowed to talk about their dating problems (fellow man with dating problems here) without women piping up saying "we have problems too" which yeah, they do, but we want to talk about our own, not yours. They're two different things with two different solutions.

Even if you magically woke up 9/10 physical traits tomorrow, though, you'd still have all the bad habits and self-depreciation and etc that comes with having to survive in a world that shuns you out for so long. That would also end up tripping you on getting a GF too. Women are a vibes people. Being attractive gives you a longer leash for sure but you'd still need a 'normie' enough personality and behavior to keep them around. Which, being ugly and I assume put down by most of society, you never got to develop.

It's very, very hard to fix once the survival behaviors you've adopted become ingrained. It's the reason why I've just gone ahead and given up on the wider world caring about me. Society is brutal, and it's especially brutal on men who are inherently 'low value' in some way like you and I. Hope you find some luck in your life, my man. a lot of us need it

 

[pelicanportal]

It's more like a void of any kind of love that, after a certain age, I have to accept isn't getting filled. Familial, romantic, friendship. I have had so much love to give my whole life, and no outlet for it. No one wants it. Maybe for some people that is tolerable. For me I see no future without it.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

No, the opposite. I did love and it honestly feels like a mistake. Plus, there's ways to find people, though its definitely harder for people who aren't very social. I don't feel like that's a solid reason alone to CTB, just because its possible to find someone at any point, especially if you're still young.

edit to add: I don't want it to be read as if I'm judging people for wanting to CTB for that reason. I just meant it doesn't seem like a solid reason FOR me, but obviously people have different views.

 

[sourcherry]

I hate my features because they repel women and I can't change them. There's no gym for face or height.
Where is it implied I want an empty slate? It seems like anytime a man complains about being lonely for reasons out of their control, people henpeck for some imaginary misogyny to divert attention back to women. Why is this? Why is it automatically assumed to be the man's fault, when statistics show women don't find most men in general attractive
And it wouldn't make my life perfect but it would be far far far better. I wouldn't want to die. I would be motivated in hobbies again. I would have someone to come home to at night and text on lunchbreaks

sorry i probs worded my thoughts too strongly but i didn't mean to imply misogyny about your context. i guess the best way i can explain it is like this:

If you grew up not receiving enough love, you will find it harder to love yourself and then you will be less likely to reach out to others for love (ex. why bother/whats to like about me anyway?) and you will also be less likely to be able to set healthy boundaries and more likely to put up with abuse that further diminishes your self love (ex. I have no self love so I need ALL of my love to come from this other person so Im desperate and can't do anything to mess it up)

it'll be a double edged sword that will ultimately hurt you back x100000 vs. being single.
do you have any platonic relationships? and i mean irl not just like an internet buddy.

 

[scoba32]

solely because of that is pretty absurd... I get partially but there's more to life than that bro

 

[sourcherry]

Even if you magically woke up 9/10 physical traits tomorrow, though, you'd still have all the bad habits and self-depreciation and etc that comes with having to survive in a world that shuns you out for so long. That would also end up tripping you on getting a GF too.

100% agree with this. and its good advice!

 

[scoba32]

100% agree with this. and its good advice!

crazy psychological trap bro

 

[sourcherry]

crazy psychological trap bro

im not seeing your comment bro :/

 

[scoba32]

im not seeing your comment bro :/

huh?

 

[unloveable27]

sorry i probs worded my thoughts too strongly but i didn't mean to imply misogyny about your context. i guess the best way i can explain it is like this:

If you grew up not receiving enough love, you will find it harder to love yourself and then you will be less likely to reach out to others for love (ex. why bother/whats to like about me anyway?) and you will also be less likely to be able to set healthy boundaries and more likely to put up with abuse that further diminishes your self love (ex. I have no self love so I need ALL of my love to come from this other person so Im desperate and can't do anything to mess it up)

it'll be a double edged sword that will ultimately hurt you back x100000 vs. being single.
do you have any platonic relationships? and i mean irl not just like an internet buddy.

No worries.
i don't have offline friends, I only have one online who I barely get to talk to because his country's time zone is so different from mine. I don't have any real-life friends either.
You're right that I have no self love, and that I would put up with some kinds of boundary abuse. Not something like cheating though, i couldn't handle that that's the main reason I would break up with anyone

solely because of that is pretty absurd... I get partially but there's more to life than that bro

Like what? What's so great about life alone? Most people spend it at a job they hate, have someone to text on lunch breaks and come home to softens the blow and at least the struggle has some meaning, it's a sacrifice. Without that, why even bother getting out of bed?

No, the opposite. I did love and it honestly feels like a mistake. Plus, there's ways to find people, though its definitely harder for people who aren't very social. I don't feel like that's a solid reason alone to CTB, just because its possible to find someone at any point, especially if you're still young.

edit to add: I don't want it to be read as if I'm judging people for wanting to CTB for that reason. I just meant it doesn't seem like a solid reason FOR me, but obviously people have different views.

I'm not young, I plan to CTB before I turn 28 this summer. But you're entitled to your opinion.

It's not *completely* imaginary but yeah, this kind of thing happens all the time. Men are not allowed to talk about their dating problems (fellow man with dating problems here) without women piping up saying "we have problems too" which yeah, they do, but we want to talk about our own, not yours. They're two different things with two different solutions.

Even if you magically woke up 9/10 physical traits tomorrow, though, you'd still have all the bad habits and self-depreciation and etc that comes with having to survive in a world that shuns you out for so long. That would also end up tripping you on getting a GF too. Women are a vibes people. Being attractive gives you a longer leash for sure but you'd still need a 'normie' enough personality and behavior to keep them around. Which, being ugly and I assume put down by most of society, you never got to develop.

It's very, very hard to fix once the survival behaviors you've adopted become ingrained. It's the reason why I've just gone ahead and given up on the wider world caring about me. Society is brutal, and it's especially brutal on men who are inherently 'low value' in some way like you and I. Hope you find some luck in your life, my man. a lot of us need it

Thank you and good luck to you as well, sorry you're having some of the same struggles.
whether someone is treated like a weirdo or not depends almost as much as how the person looks as they act. People will assume the worst of everything and play just world fallacy instead of admitting society and people are superficial.
It's not self deprecation it's just honestly expressing myself about the way the world honestly sees me.

 

[herbiecide]

Thank you and good luck to you as well, sorry you're having some of the same struggles.
whether someone is treated like a weirdo or not depends almost as much as how the person looks as they act. People will assume the worst of everything and play just world fallacy instead of admitting society and people are superficial.
It's not self deprecation it's just honestly expressing myself about the way the world honestly sees me.

completely true
Wish I could say there was an easy solution out of the trap but honestly there isn't. I'm only not choosing to CTB because my autism and NEETdom gives the copes I have just enough happiness to keep me going. Maybe you'll find something like that, although having to work a job and go outside probably makes that harder

try to find as much as you can to keep the drive going, there's so much of the world out there, even online there is tons to learn and do