demuic
Life was a mistake
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,384
How many years, or when approximately? And why later and not now?
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StringPuppet
Lost
- Oct 5, 2020
- 579
It's kind of hard to explain, but me knowing for sure that I will die by ctb kind of makes me not want to do it immediately. No need to ctb now because I know I'll do it someday.I probably won't be able to for a few years. I have a dog who has some issues and I'm the only one who gives her the time she needs. Sometimes I get frustrated because right now all I want to do is get out of here. But then she'd suffer...Ideally at least until the children are adults. Which means I'm looking at at least another 15 years, and realistically probably even longer since let's be honest here people are not really adult at 18.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 21,408
I've mentioned soooo many times that my plan was to ctb when I turn 30 in 2024 which would be about 3.3 years from now. Since then though, I have changed my plan to when I'm 28 in 2022 hoping that by then there probably won't be anything left that I'd be too upset about missing out on. I decided to wait because there's still a small chance a miracle could happen and maybe I'd either finally get a relationship or reach some enlightening epiphany that I actually can follow that would save my life. The longer time goes on the more that just feels like a longshot though which is why I decided to just get it over with sooner.
AnniesHideaway
Member
- Jul 1, 2020
- 52
My mother was ill for years, so I had committed to not do it until she was gone. About a month before she passed away a stray cat latched onto me on my nightly walk and I was unable to find her owner. Now I just can't bring myself to leave her homeless. I want to leave this place so badly ... it's literally all I think about. But here I am in a holding pattern, like a dead man walking. It's weird, but I know death is forever so I just find minor things I enjoy to kill the time until my day finally comes.
SmellyRat
Arcanist
- Nov 5, 2018
- 479
Same i worry for my doggo.
Since my younger brothers results cameback fine i don't feel bad wanting to ctb now.
Awk that's good news. What was the results from if that's okay to ask?Same i worry for my doggo.
Since my younger brothers results cameback fine i don't feel bad wanting to ctb now.
SmellyRat
Arcanist
- Nov 5, 2018
- 479
He was getting tests because they thought he might have cancer.
SmellyRat
Arcanist
- Nov 5, 2018
- 479
I'm in the same position, my dog has several health problems and if I go I know my parents will neglect her. I feel frustrated too.
Yes exactly! She'll be neglected and she doesn't deserve it, right now I'm really only here to look after her. When I lose her, I hope I have my method is place and that will be my final push...
In a way it's a relief to hear there's other people with the same problem, last time I said I was frustrated with having to stay alive for my dog I got a couple of nasty comments. I stayed alive for over a decade for her, I just want to rest now. Your dog is lucky to have you. You must love her a lot to carry on living for her.
I'm glad to see someone else has the same reason as me too. Gosh, I'm sorry you've had some nasty comments! People are meeh. Wow, over a decade! You must really love her too. I do... she's my little lifeline
Abir_london
Experienced
- Jun 15, 2020
- 208
UpandDownPrincess
Elementalist
- Dec 31, 2019
- 833
My suicidality is driven by my mental illness. I have no idea when I will be driven to do it and succeed.
I'm not prone to suicidal gestures, and my one serious attempt was thwarted by a blizzard of more than a foot and resulted in my being sectioned.
When I am driven to it, I will not fail. I just can't predict when it will happen.I am disabled and I depend of other people, I haven't got the independence to be able to ctb but I wish very hard to do it, so it is a torture. My first language isn't english, sorry if I make any mistakes while I writeSimilar threads
