Anxiety

[sólstafir]

I haven't slept for more than 24 hours and that's the only way my mind starts working somewhat. Quite often it's just blank.

I wanted to ask... does anyone else here experienced/still experience extreme anxiety during their life? For me it means I'm cut out of everything that actually matters in life. When I was working, every night I cried from the soul out of stress on the floor, if someone would have seen it, it would have been most cringeworthy view. The shame of being me is just so big, and I think it comes from not having a sense of self, so every interaction with humans is torture. When people look at me, scan me through their head, it feels awful. All day long my stomach is in knots, and my muscles are tense. And I remember I had the same feeling already in kindergarden. After a while your body just shuts down. No wonder I "want" to be left alone, that's the only time my heart is not tense, but loneliness is killing me. I don't think I can hold on any longer. That's just a tiny bit of my problems, but avoiding life has really been a big problem of mine, since I just don't want to go through torture of real life. And... seems like I'm too tired to write longer afterall. But if anyone have dealt such amount of anxiety, you're not alone in this. You're the strongest people.

 

[CJM]

Anxiety is just so annoying. I don't get it as severely as I did but when I do it really kills the basics of tasks and ill go into a shell.

 

[21Neberg]

No wonder I "want" to be left alone, that's the only time my heart is not tense, but loneliness is killing me

Your post perfectly describes my situation as well. I know the pain. I don't know why we had to be cursed with this anxiety... I'm going to therapy this week but I'm pretty sure I'll never be confident. I'll never not worry when I walk in a room and people look at me. I'm a loser.

Have you tried therapy or medication yet? Might be worth a shot... I'm about to find out anyways.

 

[Exile]

Anxiety is an evil thing and the last several months have been the worst of my life, mixed with heavy depression. I don't know why or how I work to come off as normal in public, but I do. And if I seal myself up at home, it's still awful, just in a different way.

 

[Exile]

Your post perfectly describes my situation as well. I know the pain. I don't know why we had to be cursed with this anxiety... I'm going to therapy this week but I'm pretty sure I'll never be confident. I'll never not worry when I walk in a room and people look at me. I'm a loser.

Have you tried therapy or medication yet? Might be worth a shot... I'm about to find out anyways.

I hope it works well for you. There are a lot of people who respond well to therapy and medication.

 

[Jen Erik]

does anyone else here experienced/still experience extreme anxiety during their life?

Yes. It's so debilitating, to the point where I worry about being worried, that I am not worrying enough, and that something bad is going to happen because of that.

 

[sólstafir]

Your post perfectly describes my situation as well. I know the pain. I don't know why we had to be cursed with this anxiety... I'm going to therapy this week but I'm pretty sure I'll never be confident. I'll never not worry when I walk in a room and people look at me. I'm a loser.

Have you tried therapy or medication yet? Might be worth a shot... I'm about to find out anyways.

For me it seems hopeless since in early twenties I went to therapy a lot, and I know where the problem started - my mother neglected me emotionally, so I never felt I'm welcome to life, so I assume the whole world is like that. It's like really deep inside me, the belief I'm worthless, empty, and the belief was built inside me when I was developing. Therapy... It usually made me feel better for few days, but I fell back into my old, scared self. But I didn't go exactly for anxiety issues, I can't remember it well anymore. I can only hope that your therapist has some knowledge and real experience to help you and has faith in you.
I'm visiting this site less and less, but from my time here I can tell you, you're the kindest member of this community, a really beautiful person. I wish you could feel and believe it yourself. Because that's true:). Wish you the best with therapy!