Venting Another new year, another reminder of how much I hate living

[sachaa]

Been trying to kill myself for years. I want to get off of this planet but nothing seems to work. Seeing all my friends out celebrating and I'm just alone in my room drinking and binge-eating in an attempt to fill the void. I'll cut my wrists but I won't be able to go deep enough, something in my brain just blocks me from doing so. I think some part of me is still hopeful, but every single year without fail is worse than the last. I think I was put on this planet as an experiment to see how bad life has to get before someone loses hope. I want things to get better but I think that's impossible for someone like me. I hope other people here are having a better time than I am. Happy new years, and I hope you find something to hold on to. Even if it's something small.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also hate existing, I just always see it as so dreadful and terrible to suffer in this torturous existence, I'd never wish to hold onto any of this rather existence is a terrible mistake that I need peace from, to be tortured in this existence just to face the agony of old age would be the most horrific punishment, I don't want to hold onto the torture and suffering this existence causes as every second is torture to be conscious rather all I want is to erase this existence, I hope you find the relief you search for.