Discussion Another funeral another reason to go/The death of Lily6759 and Rosegirl

[Blueberry Panic]

Saw the funeral of my ex girlfriend @Lily6759 , and it's painful... it never gets easier seeing all the people who loved the person you loved come up and make statements about them.

She died from full suspension hanging...

Sadly her own girlfriend took her life shortly after you may know her as @RoseGirl .

It's difficult knowing I was involved in these suicides and knowing people will expect me to keep going as if nothing ever happened.

I saw pictures of @Lily6759, of her body and that's obviously something I will never be able to unsee.
I've seen so much death in my life I worked in a hospital and saw death and...... 3 partners and countless friends have all died around me and I stand here crying as I constantly hurt myself trying to cope with the fact that they are never coming back that every death is just another scar I give myself .

I'm so tired so fucking tired of living for other people when none of them show the appreciation that I deserve to keep going.

It's only bad when you finally give in and give up... they say they'd never saw it coming... fuck them.
I've been suffering with this guilt and grief for all my life , maybe it's time I pass it onto someone else.

 

[unluckysadness]

So sorry for your loss and all your suffering
RIP @Lily6759 and @RoseGirl

 

[Al_stargate]

Rest in peace to Lily and Rose Girl.

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

This is awful,, but i know I know,,,, its not,,, because god,, they dont have to fucking be in pain anymore,, pain your not allowed or able to avoid,,, this hurts to read,, knowing we wont talk again,,, but thats selfish, im so sorey for your loss and yet I do envy there gain its just pathetic, isn't it? People only notice how much you matter once you threaten to disappear. Like you weren't quietly disintegrating the whole time. I'm sorry for their loss, truly, but part of me envies Lily & RoseGirl getting to finally rest.
Maybe we all need a little selfishness in the face of endless obligation...
Anything I want to tell rose girl or lily is somthing inaccessible now,, and fuck,, I cant even wish em peace,, but I do, no wishes would have made any difference.. no longer in pain right..
Now that thats the case,, it doesnt change the pain they faced alive,, ans I hope we all remember that..

 

[Blueberry Panic]

This is awful,, but i know I know,,,, its not,,, because god,, they dont have to fucking be in pain anymore,, pain your not allowed or able to avoid,,, this hurts to read,, knowing we wont talk again,,, but thats selfish, im so sorey for your loss and yet I do envy there gain its just pathetic, isn't it? People only notice how much you matter once you threaten to disappear. Like you weren't quietly disintegrating the whole time. I'm sorry for their loss, truly, but part of me envies Lily & RoseGirl getting to finally rest.
Maybe we all need a little selfishness in the face of endless obligation...
Anything I want to tell rose girl or lily is somthing inaccessible now,, and fuck,, I cant even wish em peace,, but I do, no wishes would have made any difference.. no longer in pain right..
Now that thats the case,, it doesnt change the pain they faced alive,, ans I hope we all remember that..

It isn't going to be long until I join them.

 

[itsgone2]

Saw the funeral of my ex girlfriend @Lily6759 , and it's painful... it never gets easier seeing all the people who loved the person you loved come up and make statements about them.

She died from full suspension hanging...

Sadly her own girlfriend took her life shortly after you may know her as @RoseGirl .

It's difficult knowing I was involved in these suicides and knowing people will expect me to keep going as if nothing ever happened.

I saw pictures of @Lily6759, of her body and that's obviously something I will never be able to unsee.
I've seen so much death in my life I worked in a hospital and saw death and...... 3 partners and countless friends have all died around me and I stand here crying as I constantly hurt myself trying to cope with the fact that they are never coming back that every death is just another scar I give myself .

I'm so tired so fucking tired of living for other people when none of them show the appreciation that I deserve to keep going.

It's only bad when you finally give in and give up... they say they'd never saw it coming... fuck them.
I've been suffering with this guilt and grief for all my life , maybe it's time I pass it onto someone else.

So sorry for your loss. Two people, so sad. Hopefully they have peace now.

I want to go but also sad when I see forum members confirmed passed on. Two confirmed at once. Just so tragic life turns out this way for some

 

[elenaboo25]

So sorry for your loss. Two people, so sad. Hopefully they have peace now.

I want to go but also sad when I see forum members confirmed passed on. Two confirmed at once. Just so tragic life turns out this way for some

It's really weird. I have a desire to ctb myself, and I wouldn't give a fuck if I did, but if I see that somebody else on here did, I am a bit sad. Especially when younger members do it. Which is odd, given that I would describe myself as a younger person myself (I'm in my 20s) At the same time, this site gives me a weird sense of comfort. It's like knowing that I'm not alone, in a messed up way.

 

[TBONTB]

It's really weird. I have a desire to ctb myself, and I wouldn't give a fuck if I did, but if I see that somebody else on here did, I am a bit sad. Especially when younger members do it. Which is odd, given that I would describe myself as a younger person myself (I'm in my 20s) At the same time, this site gives me a weird sense of comfort. It's like knowing that I'm not alone, in a messed up way.

Completely agree

 

[kc_]

i'm so sorry, i witnessed it all. i saw lily's dead body, the blood and the vomit, the gurgling sounds she made as rose attempted cpr. i tried to be there for her during the weeks after, i visited her for hours most days in the psych ward, she frequently threatened to hurt me and would test squeezing the arteries in my neck with her hands. when she was let out i was scared of her, but that was when she needed me most, and i failed. she came to my house uninvited the night before she died, she said she'd have hung herself in my back yard if i hadn't gone out to see her. I stayed with her for the night but left her alone the following day. pretty much no one i regularly interact with know's any of this, i walk around bearing it all in secret, idk how im supposed to just continue after this, nor how much longer i can

 

[Blueberry Panic]

i'm so sorry, i witnessed it all. i saw lily's dead body, the blood and the vomit, the gurgling sounds she made as rose attempted cpr. i tried to be there for her during the weeks after, i visited her for hours most days in the psych ward, she frequently threatened to hurt me and would test squeezing the arteries in my neck with her hands. when she was let out i was scared of her, but that was when she needed me most, and i failed. she came to my house uninvited the night before she died, she said she'd have hung herself in my back yard if i hadn't gone out to see her. I stayed with her for the night but left her alone the following day. pretty much no one i regularly interact with know's any of this, i walk around bearing it all in secret, idk how im supposed to just continue after this, nor how much longer i can

Are you who I think you are? Are you RoseGirls other partner or are you just a friend? Please contact me privacy if you can

 

[kc_]

Are you who I think you are? Are you RoseGirls other partner or are you just a friend? Please contact me privacy if you can

yes that is who i am idk how to contact u i haven't unlocked dms on here

 

[YourLocalSadGirly]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose someone you care about so much like that. It's a terrible pain and guilt and if you don't want to live anymore I honestly understand. Everyone tells me to stick it out and that I'll feel better but every week I feel more empty and sad. Whatever it is you choose I hope you're able to find peace. And if you ever want to talk about anything feel free to message me.

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose someone you care about so much like that. It's a terrible pain and guilt and if you don't want to live anymore I honestly understand. Everyone tells me to stick it out and that I'll feel better but every week I feel more empty and sad. Whatever it is you choose I hope you're able to find peace. And if you ever want to talk about anything feel free to message me.

I'll be joining them soon enough.

 

[cookiencream]

Rosegirl died???? I didn't know her super well but she was one of the first people I talked to here...

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

I know that this means nothing, absolutely fucking nothing, but I'm so sorry.
I've seen both of them around but you knew both them, and all those close to you much better than I did, them all being a part of your life.
This hits impossibly close as I am currently unsure if my own ex-gf is alive or not right now, a fact I cannot change and am more panicked about than anything else nowdays.
No amount of empathy from my side will alleviate any of of what you are going through, but I'm sending you the best, but truly of the best of my wishes.
I've read from you before about the morgue, and all it implies to you. Death, the humanisation of.
I really wish reality wasn't that cruel for you, and I'm really sorry for all of your losses.
If this is your end or not, this is your choice in the end.
May the best case scenario ultimately happen to you, whatever that may be, at least finally after having raeched this point.