Help am i a bad person if i kill myself despite people caring about me?

[kat_]

i want to die and i can feel myself getting closer by the day. i won't go into my reasons as it would take too long but there's no way of any of it getting better, at least certainly not for a very long time if it does. i have two loving parents, a sister and a dog (she just turned one). it would ruin their lives but i can't keep going on feeling like this, being trapped, burdening them all as they try to get me better. i've tried so hard for so long to get better for them but it's just not happening
the guilt is swallowing me whole. i would've done it ages ago if it weren't for them because i can't bare the thought of doing that to them, but i'm just so tired and sick of seeing them pause their lives to try and help me. they deserve to live for themselves and not for me

 

[Mothz]

At the end of the day, it is your life, not theirs. You should not feel guilty about exerting your bodily autonomy to do what you want independent of what other individuals will think.

 

[MourningFlower]

Short answer: No.

Long answer: The idea that someone has to live for the sake of others is preposterous. Ultimately, it's your call. But I would still say no.

 

[nihilisticmystics]

No. trying to stay alive to keep others happy is very draining, and it is your life and you deserve to get a say in how it's ended.

you are not selfish or a bad person

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

Considering that suicide is almost always the result of either mental illness and/or some sort of trauma or deep loss, dying by suicide is no more selfish than dying of cancer or a car accident. The human body can only endure until it can't. The mind is part of the body.

 

[socksnsandles]

no

 

[Abandoned Phantom]

No, I don't think you're a bad person. Sometimes, you just gotta think about yourself. It's not selfish either, so dont fall into that pit. They'll hurt for a while, but their pain will subside.

 

[marksofdespair]

i want to die and i can feel myself getting closer by the day. i won't go into my reasons as it would take too long but there's no way of any of it getting better, at least certainly not for a very long time if it does. i have two loving parents, a sister and a dog (she just turned one). it would ruin their lives but i can't keep going on feeling like this, being trapped, burdening them all as they try to get me better. i've tried so hard for so long to get better for them but it's just not happening
the guilt is swallowing me whole. i would've done it ages ago if it weren't for them because i can't bare the thought of doing that to them, but i'm just so tired and sick of seeing them pause their lives to try and help me. they deserve to live for themselves and not for me

First off, no you are not a bad person. but it is very normal to feel guilty about committing suicide. You've realized that you are suffering and the best thing for you at the moment you feel is death. If you have truly exacerbated all other options and tried getting better for them, there is not much else you can do. You can only live for others for so long before it eats you up alive. Realize that no matter how long and hard you try to stay alive for them, you won't actually get anywhere in life because you don't even want to live. You just don't want to hurt them. It's hard to keep that act up for long. I wish you the very best though :)

 

[kat_]

First off, no you are not a bad person. but it is very normal to feel guilty about committing suicide. You've realized that you are suffering and the best thing for you at the moment you feel is death. If you have truly exacerbated all other options and tried getting better for them, there is not much else you can do. You can only live for others for so long before it eats you up alive. Realize that no matter how long and hard you try to stay alive for them, you won't actually get anywhere in life because you don't even want to live. You just don't want to hurt them. It's hard to keep that act up for long. I wish you the very best though :)

thank you for this it really helped me change my perspective a bit :)

 

[ostaja123]

I definitely feel quilty planning suicide eventhought i have a loving family. But im too bored of this life and it will only get worse

 

[Alpacachino]

That's kind of you. Leave them a very long and detailed note and apology. I don't think you need to apologize because it's your life, not theirs. But since there's a certain amount of guilt on your part, you can leave a heart felt apology and explanation for them. You're not in the wrong, don't worry.