Help Alone and Ready to Go

[MyShadow]

I am 56 years old and alone. Combined with the many years of physical pain, the loss of my children, grief, deteriorating mental health and a completely unsupportive family, I know that I am ready to die at my own hands and by a method of my own choosing.

I honestly thought that I could get control of it. I tried to live like everyone else. I started a business. Tried therapy and medication but couldn't afford health insurance, so couldn't afford private therapists and/or doctors so ended up at poorly staffed clinics. As a result, my symptoms got worse.

Here's my question: I am actively researching death by helium but have heard stories about how helium is becoming scarce and how some companies only have 80% helium in their tanks (the remaining 20% being air). Is this true? Where can I get pure helium gas? Is it regularly available? Where can I obtain a pure (or close to pure) helium? Is nitrogen a better option?

I need to start preparing soon because I don't have much more in me. Thank you.

 

[MyShadow]

UPDATE: I have been digging through the forums and found some very informative threads.

I think that I just needed to write down and share how I feel and what I am going through.
Thank you.

 

[fedup1982]

I'm sorry you're going through so much pain. I wish I knew what to say to make it easier for you.

I had no luck with pure argon gas, I had the v intense feeling of suffocation even though in theory it should have been a walk in the park

 

[MyShadow]

I'm sorry you're going through so much pain. I wish I knew what to say to make it easier for you.

I had no luck with pure argon gas, I had the v intense feeling of suffocation even though in theory it should have been a walk in the park

Thanks for your response. As per the feeling of suffocation, do you think it was the argon or your setup?

 

[AuraByte]

I'm sorry, OP. I see you and feel you.

 

[fedup1982]

Thanks for your response. As per the feeling of suffocation, do you think it was the argon or your setup?

I wish I knew because I love the promise of death without suffering. I tried 3 tanks from different suppliers so I can't imagine it being the gas. I had a high flow rate of 15L/m in a snug bag so I don't think it was the setup. I've racked my brain and here are the possible explanations I've come up with:

1. The possibility of suffering free death from non reactive gas is a myth and the body reacts to lack of oxygen, not excess CO2

2. There's a conspiracy against me and they replaced all 3 argon tanks with CO2 before they arrived to me

3. My physiogy is unusual and unlike most people, my body detects lack of oxygen rather than excess CO2

I really can't think of any other explanations