Ali
No exist
- Dec 5, 2018
- 30
My English is not good, I use a translator. Speaks spanish :(
I only hope that the hours go by to die, tomorrow I will buy a rope of bondage of 5 mm wide and 5 meters long, I do not know if it will resist me, weight 50 kg and I measure 1.68
After that I will go to my ex's house to return some albums that he gave me a few years ago, among them a farewell letter. I love him so much, but he already told me that we will not be back, I am devastated, 6 years for nothing. I hope you get the things, then I think of two options and I'm scared they will not turn out.
I'll go to a bathroom in a shopping center to make the hangman's knot, then I'll go to a park on a hill, it has many trees, I just have to look for the right one and hope it's at night, it's full of cyclists and people walking around time, but it is quite large with secluded places that can probably serve me, I'm scared to meet someone and the story ends in abuse or can not die as I want, it is dangerous to walk alone there, usually look at me a lot for my appearance.
If I do not have the courage to go to the hill, I will return home, hoping to be alone at some point and hang up.
A month ago I tried it, I tied the hangman's knot with a string of boots, I tied it to a nail in a beam of my roof, I climbed on my bed with a chair because the ceiling is quite high. I put the cord around my neck, I squeezed it a little while loading my weight without getting off the chair yet, that was the hardest part. I felt tingling and lack of breathing, I lost consciousness, I definitely fainted, I know that feeling because I've fainted before. But when I woke up I was on the floor and my parents were checking me. Fail and I felt very bad, because I thought that by fainting I would not return to this suffering anymore.
Since that day I have thought much more about dying, I read this forum all day. I hope you can advise me, I do not want to fail this time.
It is not my first attempt, but I discovered that it is the most effective at my fingertips. I read their stories every day, I hope we can all be at peace, sorry for writing so much, the way I feel I could write for days.
I only hope that the hours go by to die, tomorrow I will buy a rope of bondage of 5 mm wide and 5 meters long, I do not know if it will resist me, weight 50 kg and I measure 1.68
After that I will go to my ex's house to return some albums that he gave me a few years ago, among them a farewell letter. I love him so much, but he already told me that we will not be back, I am devastated, 6 years for nothing. I hope you get the things, then I think of two options and I'm scared they will not turn out.
I'll go to a bathroom in a shopping center to make the hangman's knot, then I'll go to a park on a hill, it has many trees, I just have to look for the right one and hope it's at night, it's full of cyclists and people walking around time, but it is quite large with secluded places that can probably serve me, I'm scared to meet someone and the story ends in abuse or can not die as I want, it is dangerous to walk alone there, usually look at me a lot for my appearance.
If I do not have the courage to go to the hill, I will return home, hoping to be alone at some point and hang up.
A month ago I tried it, I tied the hangman's knot with a string of boots, I tied it to a nail in a beam of my roof, I climbed on my bed with a chair because the ceiling is quite high. I put the cord around my neck, I squeezed it a little while loading my weight without getting off the chair yet, that was the hardest part. I felt tingling and lack of breathing, I lost consciousness, I definitely fainted, I know that feeling because I've fainted before. But when I woke up I was on the floor and my parents were checking me. Fail and I felt very bad, because I thought that by fainting I would not return to this suffering anymore.
Since that day I have thought much more about dying, I read this forum all day. I hope you can advise me, I do not want to fail this time.
It is not my first attempt, but I discovered that it is the most effective at my fingertips. I read their stories every day, I hope we can all be at peace, sorry for writing so much, the way I feel I could write for days.
