ambivalent_thespian
Depressed Theatre Adult
- Oct 5, 2023
- 38
so i start college in literally less than two weeks and i'm going shopping for supplies in less than an hour. and now my neck is bruised from trying to find that "adam's apple" thing from the resource thread (i know what it is but i couldn't make myself faint)
the bad part is over. this is the part of my life where i move on, maybe get some psychiatric help, make some friends and enjoy being alive.
i have to wait til November before i can get on anti depressants and idk man. i want to wait for things to get better but i literally don't think i can. i can't stand the pity i get from people who had a normal high school experience. they think i'm some sort of freak.
i know it'll get better. it always does. but god wouldn't i look so pretty with a rope around my neck in a forest somewhere?
i'm so emotionally repressed that i can't even cry anymore. i cant sleep unless i take pills. and i simply do not think i'm capable of being happy. maybe i could live a more productive life, but i have very few memories of being actually happy.
so here i am.
and why didn't i post this in the main forum? i'd like to pose a question. what is YOUR reason for wanting to recover? i think maybe hearing some hope from strangers will get me through this.
my reason is that i sometimes feel content. i like watching the world go by and knowing i somehow have a place in it. it feels oddly fulfilling. and also i wanna see the finale for my favorite show.
so what's your reason?
the bad part is over. this is the part of my life where i move on, maybe get some psychiatric help, make some friends and enjoy being alive.
i have to wait til November before i can get on anti depressants and idk man. i want to wait for things to get better but i literally don't think i can. i can't stand the pity i get from people who had a normal high school experience. they think i'm some sort of freak.
i know it'll get better. it always does. but god wouldn't i look so pretty with a rope around my neck in a forest somewhere?
i'm so emotionally repressed that i can't even cry anymore. i cant sleep unless i take pills. and i simply do not think i'm capable of being happy. maybe i could live a more productive life, but i have very few memories of being actually happy.
so here i am.
and why didn't i post this in the main forum? i'd like to pose a question. what is YOUR reason for wanting to recover? i think maybe hearing some hope from strangers will get me through this.
my reason is that i sometimes feel content. i like watching the world go by and knowing i somehow have a place in it. it feels oddly fulfilling. and also i wanna see the finale for my favorite show.
so what's your reason?
