4 months into tinnitus hell

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

On February 7 of this year, I woke up with a ringing sound in my ear. It's still there 4 months later, I can't tell if it's gotten worse but I know it hasn't gotten better. I already live with a chronic digestive illness, I just can't wrap my fucking head around how I'm expected to live with a smoke alarm noise in my ear, when my own auditory system has me trapped in a torture chambe fucking nightmare. I still listen to music but I barely enjoy it anymore because I can hear the incessant high-pitched whine over the music. I even hear it while driving in my car. It's such a sick fucking joke that I went to the doctor and she just said "oh, distract yourself with white noise or ocean wave sounds on your phone lol", like what, for the rest of my fucking life? Just accept that I'll never have peace and silence again, just be okay with the fact that there's a screeching sound in my ear, but it's okay, it's not a big deal, certainly having a tone that sounds like a frayed wire plugged into an outlet about to start on fire permanently in your head couldn't possibly have any long term mental and physical health risks, surely it won't slowly chip away at your sanity which is already weakened by a fucking decade of depression, yes of course you can still manage to be perfectly happy even with permanent tinnitus and chronic stomach pain even though you were suicidally depressed for 7 years before that, just use white noise lol

Fuck this, I hate that I'm still not depressed enough to die. I wish I could just end this already, while am I still functional? I wish I wasn't, I wish I could just go to the hardware store and buy a rope and hang myself in the garage, it would literally be over in less than an hour, I choose to endure this absolutely nightmare, I ask for it to continue every minute I stay alive.

 

[darksouls]

On February 7 of this year, I woke up with a ringing sound in my ear. It's still there 4 months later, I can't tell if it's gotten worse but I know it hasn't gotten better. I already live with a chronic digestive illness, I just can't wrap my fucking head around how I'm expected to live with a smoke alarm noise in my ear, when my own auditory system has me trapped in a torture chambe fucking nightmare. I still listen to music but I barely enjoy it anymore because I can hear the incessant high-pitched whine over the music. I even hear it while driving in my car. It's such a sick fucking joke that I went to the doctor and she just said "oh, distract yourself with white noise or ocean wave sounds on your phone lol", like what, for the rest of my fucking life? Just accept that I'll never have peace and silence again, just be okay with the fact that there's a screeching sound in my ear, but it's okay, it's not a big deal, certainly having a tone that sounds like a frayed wire plugged into an outlet about to start on fire permanently in your head couldn't possibly have any long term mental and physical health risks, surely it won't slowly chip away at your sanity which is already weakened by a fucking decade of depression, yes of course you can still manage to be perfectly happy even with permanent tinnitus and chronic stomach pain even though you were suicidally depressed for 7 years before that, just use white noise lol

Fuck this, I hate that I'm still not depressed enough to die. I wish I could just end this already, while am I still functional? I wish I wasn't, I wish I could just go to the hardware store and buy a rope and hang myself in the garage, it would literally be over in less than an hour, I choose to endure this absolutely nightmare, I ask for it to continue every minute I stay alive.

I am so sorry that you have to go through all this

send you love

 

[whaleandwasp]

Hey, I'm really sorry you're going through this right now. I just want to tell you I have two chronic issues with my vision that drove me insane for the longest and greatly reduced my quality of life. One was diplopia (double vision) caused by a stroke in my early 20s as well as black spots in my vision. It took over a year, but my brain finally learned to "ignore" the double image and I see normally now even though I still am actually seeing double. Maybe the same thing could happen with your hearing. I kept seeing the black spots though I thought I would never get use to the new "normal" I would see the black spots everywhere I went and they were so distracting. The good news is those too, faded in time. They're still there, because I can still see them when I look for them and in fact I sometimes still see a slight double images at night when looking at bright lights, but for the most part, my brain filters all of these things out now so I don't see them. During periods of high stress, they've become more noticeable and then I began to obsess and worry about them being there forever and ruining my life, and that would cause them to stay for months at a time, but eventually, my body would adjust again and I have years of good vision. The brain can be terrible thing for some of us but it can also do some amazing things. Tinnitus is one of those things that can come and go chronically and also be treatable. I would suggest you find an online tinnitus support group if you haven't already, sometimes Facebook groups is a good place to start and connect with other people going through what you're going through, they may have some helpful advice for how to treat your symptoms or learn to cope with them.

 

[suicideprepper]

I had tinnitus for 8 months and it stopped suddenly. Sometimes I get tinnitus again, but it's for a couple days or weeks, then it stops. This is because of my jaw being deformed. See about it with a better doctor and I think they'd be able to tell you what to do. Best choices are orthodontist, otolaryngologist or even audiologist. Give priority to the last two.
I'm saving money for my jaw surgery, which will hopefully correct the problem once and for all. Peace.

 

[Alexandra0]

First of all I want to say that I feel very sorry for you. I am 30 years old and I have been suffering from a pulsating noise mainly in my right ear since I was 17, that is, almost half of my fucking life. 5 years ago the noise became simply catastrophic, it made me disabled at 25 and since then I have not been able to work. Perhaps then I had coronavirus and there was a deterioration. In any case, I cannot be cured or even somehow alleviate my unbearable existence. I have tried many things over the years, but all in vain. I just lie and cover my damn ears with my fingers. I just can not live in this Hell and dream of dying as soon as possible. Plus I have other diseases but they are nothing compared to this noise. I also have problems with the gastrointestinal tract. I do not know why all this ...

 

[cait_sith]

It's really horrible how this life beats down on people who already suffering to begin with, while others go through lives without them ever having something bad happen to them.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered a lot, it's just so cruel and horrible to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I wish you the best.

 

[idiotmother]

Tinnitus is terrible, and the fact that yours is so loud is atrocious. Are you on any meds that could cause it?

 

[Nanami]

Would really recommend going to an ear specialist if you haven't already. There are many things that can cause tinnitus that isn't related to ear damage and can be fixed or at least massively mitigated in some way. Wax, jaw, teeth, muscle weakness, posture, stress and quite a few more.
See a specialist, not a gp.