Cauliflour
The masochist who doodles.
- Mar 24, 2025
- 420
I
fucking hate this!
Hey, at least I know not to do it again.
I find it hilarious though how I now have slight traumatic flashbacks whenever someone asks if I want coffee. Why couldn't my traumatic memory be a badass one...
Sometimes I think about who I would be if I went through with it one way or another, laying dead somewhere for someone else to discover and come up with urban legends about. Or maybe they just won't care idk. At least then I'll be infamous and not a loser on some random forum who can't for the life of them go to bed at a normal time.
Actually it's 201 days cause it's 12:44 am for me currently. Damn it.
I wonder how many people here laugh through their attempts? I mean, I don't know why I keep calling it an "attempt" it was more like shitty self harm that probably caused some kind of long term health fuckery, both physical and mental. Actually no, "self harm" isn't the right term either I think. What would one classify "having really bad suicidal thoughts and suffocating yourself with the tie you're wearing for 15 ish seconds in public to get them to stop that's like you want to die by it but only like 45% kinda?". God damn it I wish I was straightforward for once. Not even in suicidality I can be a normal person.
But hey, this website is definitely the reason I'm not sitting in a mental hospital right now. Does wonders for the sanity.
I've just noticed I've been here for almost 150 days. Christ knows how I managed to survive in those 50 ish days inbetween without this website.
fucking hate this!Hey, at least I know not to do it again.
I find it hilarious though how I now have slight traumatic flashbacks whenever someone asks if I want coffee. Why couldn't my traumatic memory be a badass one...
Sometimes I think about who I would be if I went through with it one way or another, laying dead somewhere for someone else to discover and come up with urban legends about. Or maybe they just won't care idk. At least then I'll be infamous and not a loser on some random forum who can't for the life of them go to bed at a normal time.
Actually it's 201 days cause it's 12:44 am for me currently. Damn it.
I wonder how many people here laugh through their attempts? I mean, I don't know why I keep calling it an "attempt" it was more like shitty self harm that probably caused some kind of long term health fuckery, both physical and mental. Actually no, "self harm" isn't the right term either I think. What would one classify "having really bad suicidal thoughts and suffocating yourself with the tie you're wearing for 15 ish seconds in public to get them to stop that's like you want to die by it but only like 45% kinda?". God damn it I wish I was straightforward for once. Not even in suicidality I can be a normal person.
But hey, this website is definitely the reason I'm not sitting in a mental hospital right now. Does wonders for the sanity.
I've just noticed I've been here for almost 150 days. Christ knows how I managed to survive in those 50 ish days inbetween without this website.
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